Stalker Freezer + shameless plug for zazzle.com

I finally started the 'stalker wall' on my fridge - that Abe Lincoln is a fox...

Zazzle.com rawks! I ordered my 'Real Men Hit the High Notes' t-shirts last Wednesday night and they were here Monday when I arrived home from work.

BK commercial freaks me the hell out

Have you seen this new Burger King commercial with 'Coq Roq' - the band wearing chicken head masks? I was freaked out by those 'Wake Up with the King' commercials (I had nightmares about the Burger King) and there was the one with Darius Rucker of past Hootie fame (I kept getting that 'bacon cheddar ranch' song in my head) but this one is immensely disturbing on several levels.

Namely:
1 - Chicken fries!? I thought that was fucked up when White Castle advertised chicken rings years ago but now Burger King is showing people in chicken masks feeding large amounts of 'chicken fries' to scantily clad groupies.
2 - See above - Groupies? For a Slipknot-esque band of chickens? Who eat chicken? Do groupies love cannibals?
3 - There is a rival group dressed like clowns...
4 - [Don't even make me type the name again but...] the name of the band combined with the shape of the product they're pitching? And the way they feed the groupies? Ew.

I think I'll stick with the vegetarians. And why didn't Carl from Terror win as sexiest male vegetarian?

*update - here's an interesting blurb from AdAge
**8/13 I saw a new Chikin Fries commercial tonight which is kind of a blacksploitation take-off which offends me for completely different reasons...

Murrain's latest victim: Rich from Bury Your Dead 

Review: Bury Your Dead 7/25/2005

#22
July 25, 2005
Bury Your Dead
This Year Passed
The Ottobar, Baltimore MD

This is the 3rd Monday night in a row I've gone to a show...quite a streak. This was an off-date show for Bury Your Dead who are appearing on the second stage of this year's Ozzfest (which I could neither afford nor had time to see).

This Year Passed is a Baltimore metal-core band who looked kinda like 'Atreyu: Baltimore Edition' what with the matching black dress shirts and ties. I don't know if I trust a man wearing more eye make-up than me, but they were pretty good. They rocked hard in spite of the small, listless crowd.
4/5

Mmmmm....Bury Your Dead. Another hott Victory Records band - I would say that BYD is more metal than -core, though there is certainly a healthy dose of hardcore therein. Then again I wasn't really that focused on the music. I did get kicked a couple times when I was in the back because I was looking at the camera's LCD and not at the kids throwin down. I got some OK photos, but I'm still having issues with the stupid flash delay (which shouldn't be). They played a pretty long set and I don't think anybody in the place stopped moving the entire time.
5/5

And now it's time for this week's edition of 3 Ridiculous Questions with the Bass Player - tonight's player is the ebullient Rich of Bury Your Dead:

MoS: Now that you have a big bus, is there anything crazy on your tour rider? Is there anything unusual you would add?
Rich: We just have regular stuff - fruit, regular and diet soda, we still like PB&J...I guess one thing I might do is to require separated candies - like I might ask for 156 green M&Ms because I'm Irish. And I would count them all too, just to be sure...

MoS: Who picks the promo shots used on the Victory Records site? Some of them are just hideously bad (e.g. Atreyu's photos - not Bury Your Dead's though...)
Rich: We worked with a couple photographers but I guess Victory picked which ones to use.

MoS: What two Ozzfest bands would you like to see in a steel cage match?
Rich: [laughing - he acutally had to turn away for a second] Mastodon and Rob Zombie with his band.

Special thanks to Eric who showed me his neck tattoo as a result of my 'neck-tattoo' shirt. Yowza!

Ginger Flame? Brandon from Fear Before the March of Flames 7 18 2005 

Review: Bear vs Shark 7/18/05

John (!) Bear vs Shark July 18 2005

#21
July 18, 2005
Fear Before the March of Flames
Curl Up and Die
Bear vs Shark
Fire When Ready
Fares Well Without
The Champsion Ship, Lemoyne PA
Photos!!! More Photos!!!

Once again my odd-Coheed (19) viewing is kicking my ass (or rather the car's front bumper). What did I do to deserve this anyway? Overall not too bad of a day....took the day off, picked up the new Co&Ca comic, bought my 3IoB tix, got guestlisted (thanks John!), and accomplished my dual goals of seeing Bear vs Shark and flirting with the redheaded drummer in FBtMoF (who really is even cuter than I thought he was before).

Anyway...Fares Well Without is a PA-local metal(core) band that sounds kinda like As I Lay Dying (which they curiously do not list among their 'influences'). It was pretty OK...those kids were really obnoxious though.
3/5

Fire When Ready are upstate-NY-based indie punk. I actually really enjoyed their set, even if it didn't seem to quite fit the overall theme (was there an overall theme? scream-shouted vocals maybe?). I don't know what they did to their bass and several mics, but they had a couple sound problems. Overall very good...
4/5

And of course, the mighty Bear vs Shark. Now new and improved - playing several new songs from Terrorhawk (which as you will recall I had to harrass Tower Records employees to get at 8:30 PM the day it came out because they still hadn't put out the new releases...idiots). Anyway, it was starting to get real hot in the club (though apparently not as hot as the place they played the previous day). I got some good photos this time too (possibly coming to their site in the near future). There were some other DC/Baltimore folks there - next time we've got to coordinate, people! Oh yeah, BvS rocks!
5 stars on this, my fifth viewing of BvS

Curl Up and Die - is that an imperative or a just a statement? Have I seen this band before? No idea...hardcore stuff...there were some karate moves going on in the back. So hot...sweating...ugh
4/5

Fear Before the March of Flames...hey at least this time I didn't get lost. Excellent set. Proof that Equal Vision Records inserts subliminal messages into their free compilations? I'm still not sure about that (Marc thought Coheed might do something like that, which would explain a lot actually) but FBtMoF is awesome. I got some nice photos of them too (bad-ass!). Brandon is indeed cuter than I had remembered...I think he must be quite the ladies man. I may have to actually start the 'stalker wall' to which I keep referring.
5/5

Review: Verbal Wars 7/16/2005

July 16, 2005
Verbal
Dr. Dremo's, Arlington VA

Special screening for the Star Wars fan flick Revelations followed by Verbal (featuring RADAR [theory] visuals - Billy Dee!).
Don't know what I can say about Revelations, since this isn't a film review blog and I missed the first 20 minutes or so (not to mention that I have an extremely short attention span). It was certainly very cool for a super-low-budget film made by Star Wars geeks.
Of course I also don't know what to say about Verbal except that they were super awesome as usual.
Man, it's hot...

And now it's time for 3 Ridiculous Questions with the Bass Player (in this case Bill from Verbal) and special guest Joe 'the evil assistant' from Revelations:

MoS: Do you think I'm wasting my time on drummers?
BfV: Probably
JteafR: Yes!
BfV: You should focus on bass players who wear weight-lifting gloves while they play

MoS: Since tonight is all about Star Wars: Captain Kirk or Captain Picard?
both: Kirk

MoS: Who would you like to see battle Joe in an outer-space light-saber cage match?
JteafR: No one from CRDF...
BfV: Dominic de Villepin [the French foreign minister]
MoS: Actually the correct answer was Bruce Dickinson, championship fencer, airline pilot, and metal god

Random unrelated crap:
-I saw 'Ask Liz' from NBC4 today!
-Also today I bought a magazine at Olsson's only to find out once I started reading it that it was from February 2004...I didn't think Korn was still popular...
-I never did find out the name of Dempsey's friend with the very impressive beard (my 'I <3 Beards' shirt isn't ready yet either)

I like this pic too - Darkest Hour 71105 

Darkest Hour 7-11-05  

Review: Darkest Hour 7/11/2005

#19
July 11, 2005
Bleeding Through
Darkest Hour
Zao
Misery Signals
The Ottobar

I made the Monday slog to Bawlmor just for sumpin to do...very little traffic on the way up (therefore of course I95 south was blocked by 4 police cruisers on the way home for 20 minutes or so). I've seen all these bands before and I really only like Darkest Hour, even though I couldn't tell you the difference between them and the other bands (except they're from DC so I have to support my home crew). Clearly, Darkest Hour is the best name of the lot [I'm including the mysteriously named 'Fight Paris' whom I missed but a bunch of kids were making fun of: 'Shut up!' 'Why don't you go Fight Paris?' 'Why don't you?']

It was so hot in the Ottobar that my brain ceased to function after about an hour or so and I left after just two Bleeding Through songs because they were not as good looking as I had previously thought, neck tattoos aside (their keyboard chick rawks though - she headbangs while she's actually playing the keyboard of all things).

I spend so much time at work rolling my eyes and trying to ignite my evil cubicle neighbor with dirty looks that I didn't even have the energy to roll my eyes at stupid annoying kids and stupid scenesters (I actually think those two guys were from DC because I don't remember seeing any Charm City men in $100 jeans before - well, not at a metal show anyway - plus they're totally the DC scenester type). I should have at least picked up a stars and bars shirt...but again - brain melt.

Darkest Hour: 4.447/5
other bands (collective): 3.6294/5
stupid annoying kids who make fun of everything (why did you spend money on this?): -5
idiotic scenesters: 2/5 for their massive use of hair 'product'

Reviews: 3 + Live 8 roundup, 7/1-2/2005

Joey from 3, Theater of Living Arts, Philadelphia PA July 1 2005

#18
July 1, 2005
3
Showbread
Blindside
Theater of Living Arts, Philadelphia PA

I think the photo above says it all - I am an awesome photographer. (it's come to my attention that the photo just looks like purple blobs when not viewed on my home computer...you'll just have to take my word for it, I guess) Oh yeah, and 3 rocks! It's probably about time I write a fancy lyric-heavy review for them like I did for Bear vs Shark and Codeseven. I will work on that and get back to you. Congratulations to Mrs and Mr Cooch on new baby girl Cooch!
Substitute bass player Dan has put a couple photos up on his site.

Showbread....uh, if you really want to know ask me for the video because it's not easy to describe. Imagine if I were being tortured by a 7-member band resulting from the fusion of Living Colour and that horrible J Paris band...and they had a 'key-tar' and were all wearing black spandex bike shorts and sleeveless t-shirts with the 7 Deadly Sins on them. Really, that's what it was like...

Blindside (whom I'd never heard (of)) is from Sweden and are apparently quite big in these parts. Who knew? They had a cool stage set that was a cityscape and were wearing weird 'Gangs of New York' style outfits (do you need a feathered hat and watch-chain on stage?). Musically I guess they sound like Underoath (well, who doesn't these days...).

Live 8 wrap-up
Nice weather, lovely company (cousin R and family and friend). Didn't see much but we heard Bon Jovi, Destiny's Child, Kanye West, Will Smith (w/DJ Jazzy Jeff, natch), Alicia Keys, the Dave Mathews Band, Coldplay, Linkin Park (w/Jay-Z!), and of course Def Leppard.
Bizarrely, I actually saw a woman wearing a J Paris shirt...
Now go read this

Hardcore how-to's

I finally found the 'how-to-dress-hardcore' page...read it, learn it, live it.

Possible Band Names Revisited

Fall Off Bicycle
Murrain of Swains
Foreign Cervix Exam
Misplaced Agression (Misplaced Voodoo?)
Deep Sea Extremophiles
Knapweed
Airship-Minesweeper
Space Shark
Psychoactive Biowarfare
Intoxicated Lucifer

Previous Comments:

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I think I may be the one who said "Foreign Cervix Exam" in a weird Freudian slip (Well, I WAS talking about my law school buddy who probably has given many such exams...) but I forgot that it may be a "possible band name"...

Don't forget my favorite - "Corpsetruck" - a friend's band. It is not a truck that carries corpses, but a truck that is actually MADE of corpses. Any band name that has a double-meaning that makes no sense either way is GREAT! I.E. the band "Old Funeral"... Is that a funeral that has been going on for a long time, a past funeral, or a funeral done in an old style? And of course, the band name "Still Remains," which Chris Black of Superchrist thought was hilarious...

deathmetalroze

Anonymous said...

Oh wait! I forgot! One of my favorite band names is "Agretator"! http://www.christofermalmstrom.se/agretator.htm (According to the site, "We named it Agretator from the words Agitator and Agressor") One day, I actually was "Agretated," which I considered to be a cross between aggravated and agitated. So, to me, any band name that is a seemingly made-up word or combination of words ROCKS!

deathmetalroze

Anonymous said...

Sorry to keep adding more kooky ideas to this list of how to arrive at "possible band names," but Scott came up with some great ones today...in trying to remember the names of some indie rock bands a guy at work had in his i-tunes list...

THE WINSTON CHARIOT

HI-FI LAWNMOWER RETREAT

deathmetalroze

Review: Into Eternity 6/16/2005

#17
June 16, 2005
Into Eternity
All Shall Perish
Jaxx, Springfield VA

Even though I had a bad day yesterday and most of today, I still managed to salvage Thursday by having a nice dinner with friends, checking out some sexy bearded dudes, and further damaging my ears at Jaxx (I really need to put my earplugs back in the car). And I guess I can't complain too much because I finally just got my stuck cd drive open, I didn't lose my job, and I didn't flip my car on the beltway on the way home.

Anyway, All Shall Perish describes themselves as "Bay Area Melodic Hardcore Death Metal" which seems pretty accurate to me. They look like a hardcore band and sound more like a death metal band. I would have enjoyed their set more if Jaxx would get their act together sound-wise and the drummer would take off his shirt. [scroll all the way down to the last photo]
3.4729/5

Speaking of Jaxx getting their shit together...up next was Into Eternity, who thankfully didn't have to stop playing in the middle of any songs this time. The sound for their set was light-years better than last time, though the main vocals and guitars could have been turned up more. The IE guys are really talented musicians and both guitarists and the bass player do various ear-splitting vocals which nicely complement the screeching (in a good way) lead vocals. Since I've got both recent albums I actually knew all of the songs this time (though 'Beginning of the End' with the wailing 'Ar-ma-geddon' line is still my favorite). Those Portsmouth dudes were there too (wearing the Ron Jeremy shirt again *shudder*) so I spoke to them briefly. I really wish I had my camera, I could have gotten some excellent shots and Stu would be an excellent subject (let me tell you...)
4.879/5

I ran into Stu on the way out and asked him my best ridiculous question that I had thought of for Into Eternity:
Rate this pick-up line: Have you ever wondered what it would be like if America was on top of Canada?
Paraphrased answer: I haven't really thought about it, but it would be interesting to find out what it would be like.
[So basically if you're trying to pick up a hot bearded Canadian dude, it might be a good opener]

I didn't stick around for Krisiun (they're from Brazil, so I kinda wish I had), Incantation, or Hate Eternal, but I'm not really into that stuff so much anyway...

Link of the Day: 3 Inches of Blood self-interview from Download Fest UK

It's a 10 minute interview with Shane (hott), Brian (I like his purse), and Justin (ooh, a redhead...) - the men behind the axes of evil that we all know and love. So if you want to find out what they did on Sunday, drank on Saturday night, and see Shane get poked with inflatable swords this is the interview for you.
To quote stupid Roadrunner's stupid site "hilarity ensues": http://metal.4qradio.com/?1

Scion Ara's cd review

Scion Ara's cd review: Weerd Science 'Friends and Nervous Breakdowns'
Being a Scion, I love rap, hip-hop, dub, drum-n-bass, and lotsa crazy beats, so it's about damn time I've been given some decent shit to play. I can put up with being named after a Coheed lyric and being referred to as the 'rawk box' but Weerd Science brings out my true scion-ness. My favorite track is 'Super Friends' because it's funny. I think I may have seen these Weerd Science persons somewhere before, but not as rappers. Since I am a car I can't ask for an autograph or a hug, but I would like my picture taken with them in the future. They could also come inside me...Blink Blink!

Finally, Keg-meister Josh 

Mic: does not photograph well...I like his new haircut though 

Mmmm...Claudio fresh 

Cream of the Crop: Travis at Music Midtown