Not like the movies

Combining the grand literary tradition of such short plays as 'Smells like cupcakes' and 'St. Swithin's day' with the romantic fantasy of Xenia Navarre, Murrain of Swains presents:

Scene from a Bus Stop

A one act-play starring a drunk woman on a cell phone

Late afternoon; a drunk woman sits on a bench holding a cell phone to her left ear:

[speaking into phone, loud enough to be heard a block away] I was just calling to see if you were still eating....Breadsticks and, um, buffalo wings. I still got some breadsticks right here.

[after a long pause to listen, she begins shouting - her right arm making a wild chopping motion] I'm a good mother-fucking woman, Joseph! And you're supposed to be my man! What am I supposed to do when my man...

[pausing to listen] I just love you so like I love you! So much!

Off-stage there is a crunching sound followed by gasps and 'Oh my god!' sounds

[shrieking, jumping up from the bench] Oh my god, Joseph, the bus just hit a pole!

Curtain pulls back to reveal a metrobus which has crashed into a Rosslyn map-sign and settled over a toppled fire hydrant (which is sadly not spraying into the air like a geyser, because this is a play and not a movie).